


wake up and i see the light

by ratherbeblue



Series: Dreaming is Free [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:15:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25521205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratherbeblue/pseuds/ratherbeblue
Summary: part 2 of my soulmate dream sharing AU, title from carly rae jepsen's when i needed you
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Fjord
Series: Dreaming is Free [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1848910
Comments: 4
Kudos: 62





	wake up and i see the light

Fjord meets Jester about a week after washing up on the shore 10 miles South of Nicodranas, he’s not sure where he’s going yet but North seems like a good place to start and she needs an escort out of the city. She’s gotten caught up in some kind of trouble, though she’s vague on exactly what, but she assures him that she knows exactly where she’s going, her soulmate has agreed to meet her in Trostenwald, in the heart of the Empire.

Fjord’s not sure how he feels about that. Caduceus never had the best sense of direction, and besides a few names of nearby landmarks Fjord hadn’t been able to figure out exactly where the Blooming Grove was beyond inland and to the North, but he knew that as open worshippers of the Wildmother he couldn’t be anywhere within the Empire’s walls. Beyond that it’s a card toss.

Melora knows he never got the chance to get more information before- Well, he stopped dreaming, he stopped dreaming and he doesn’t really know why.

Fjord feels too embarrassed to ask the questions he has, can your soulmate change? Or leave? If you do something truly terrible, can they abandon you just like that? Not that he would blame Caduceus anyway, he knew in his heart that he should have called out to Melora in that moment, but he was weak. In the cold dark depths with nothing but water all around him her warmth seemed so far away, but Uk’otoa was right there, so close, ready for him to reach out, almost waiting for him…

At any rate Jester seems to have no such reservations about sharing and asking her own soulmate-related questions to him or anyone else that would listen. Her soulmate’s name is Beauregard and she’s the ‘smartest and strongest ever’ and when they dream it’s on an island neither of them have been to before. She says Beau (because she doesn’t like the name Beauregard and that’s fine even though Jester thinks it’s a very romantic name) is training to be a monk and she’s not very happy about it, but once they meet up they will run away and join a circus or become famous outlaws or live in a studio where Jester makes paintings that sell for a million gold each. It changes each morning and Fjord looks forward to hearing their new plans every time.

He often wonders what this Beau is really like, wonders if she and Jester make a perfect couple or an unexpected match. He wonders what Jester would think of him and Caduceus. 

But he doesn’t bring it up and Jester is mostly too lost in her own world to bother him too much about the subject. He mentioned once that he doesn’t really dream and Jester got a sad look in her eyes so he changed the subject quickly until she was laughing and smiling again.

A few days past the empire’s gates they get attacked by a wolf that must have been separated from its pack. Fjord is panicked but a sword appears in his hand in a flash of green light and he moves, more instinct than thought, forward to do anything to protect Jester. Afterwards Jester lights a fire and patches him up, babbling about how maybe he’s a sorcerer and there’s a really good magic school further North and maybe we can go there after we meet Beau and then she trails off because there’s the sound of branches cracking and Fjord feels his muscles tense in anticipation of another fight but all that breaks through the treeline is a bloody, dark skinned human woman who just whispers. “Jessie?” before falling unconscious at their feet.

And that’s how he meets Beau. 

Jester screams, equal parts delight and distress as she runs over to catch her. Fjord joins her, though she hardly needs the help, still she lets him take over while she rummages through the bags they’ve been carrying, looking for the potion they had bought on the way out of town. She would never say it but Fjord sees in the wrinkle of her brow how she wishes she hadn’t wasted her healing magic on him, Fjord would only agree if she had said as much.

Still she finds the bottle, uncorks it and presses it to Beau’s lips, helping her swallow with tender hands and Fjord feels like he’s intruding on something but doesn’t know what to do, he’s never been as good as he’d like at making himself smaller.

He turns away and starts making himself busy re-organizing the bags Jester had ransacked in her search. He takes more time than he needs to but he really doesn’t want to intrude on their moment. He hears Beau cough and feels the blush rise on the back of his neck as the two women quietly whisper greetings to each other. His hands start to shake a little but he pushes the feeling away, no need to make this about the relationship with his soulmate he fucked up. Not when Jester’s found hers, not when they’re both so happy to see each other.

After that things happen fast, Beau joins them for the rest of the now short journey, they get in a few more scrapes, Jester patches them both up, and eventually they get to Trostenwald and meet a few new people.

They start travelling together, winning contests, defeating enemies, making a name for themselves, and it’s all such a whirlwind that even the occasional salt water filled nightmare isn’t enough to knock Fjord back into reality.

Until he and Jester get captured.

It’s a long hard week, and at times it feels like much, much more time than that. The only small comfort is the fact that Jester is by his side but even that doesn’t help much because Fjord wishes more than anything she wasn’t, that it was just him, why couldn’t it have just been him?

Still, Jester still dreams, on nights where they are able to get sleep, and though they are gagged and bound, unable to communicate even if they wanted to, Jester tries to communicate her enthusiasm. He knows Beau would move mountains for Jester and she is no doubt being held back by force from rushing in and punching everyone and everything until she gets Jester back.

So he tries to take comfort in Jester’s optimism, in her humming and bouncing, but it all just puts him more on edge, wanting to reach out and tell her she doesn’t have to be the cheerleader right now. 

But he can’t do that so he just ignores the churning in his stomach and prays to someone who’s name he doesn’t dare think that they will get out of this alive.

Days later Fjord comes to consciousness under the feeling of warm hands cradling his face. He blinks and his blurry eyes slowly come to focus on another’s, pink and comforting, like a dream.

“Oh, there you are.” Fjord hears him say, and he holds back the instinct to pinch himself. “Caduceus…”

“Fjord.” He replies, easy and calm, pressing a hand to his throat to ease the ache. “I must admit I wasn’t sure how common a name yours was, but I had hoped it would be you.”

“I- How did you find me? I thought I- I… I didn’t think you’d still want to find me.” He finally settles on.

Caduceus’ brow furrows, an unfamiliar anger crossing his features momentarily. 

“Of course I wanted to find you.” He tells him, looking him straight in the eyes, not unkind, but in a way that makes Fjord want to shrink away. “I will always want to find you.”

It’s the kind of unblinking honesty mixed with the way Caduceus had with making him feel worthy effortlessly that makes him want to crawl into a hole forever, but Caduceus is having none of it.

“I don’t know where you’ve been, but I’m sure you have a good reason and I’d rather have that conversation when you’re all safe back above ground.” He furrows his brow again. “And preferably with some tea.”

Fjord nods, face flush with embarrassment which doubles when he looks around and notices the rest of the Mighty Nein trying and failing to not stare at the two of them. Caduceus ignores them and helps him to his feet gently with solid and warm arms, so different from anything he’s felt in the last week, and it’s so nice he wants to melt into them and never leave. 


End file.
